so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
