we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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