No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You left your phone here
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