Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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