I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
