the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
