hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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