I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
