I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
high people should be assigned attendants
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
