garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
