R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
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