I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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