I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
