He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
