I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. Itβs a dickfest!!
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