Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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