You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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