like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
