i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
