so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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