i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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