so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
