last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
