I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want her autograph on my taint
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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