He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I cut my penus on the lid.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
