So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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