Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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