She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
