How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
