On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
