Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
