OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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