He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
