do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Two words: nipple clamps
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