Got a toothbrush?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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