My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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