What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
