Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
