I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
