so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
