oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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