My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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