Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
