Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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