but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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