i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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