cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she looked like the before picture.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
