well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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