I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
