You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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